Where did the magic go?

I've been going to church on a regular basis. Since almost this time last year, I've been heading out west of the city with a good friend of mine to attend a small country church.

I love it. I really really like it. It's like when I was living at university and I'd go home for the weekend - that's the feeling that I get when I get in the car for the drive out.

Until recently.

At the beginning of July a new minister started working at the church. She's.... not a good fit. Everything that I love about my little church - the chaotic, messy, vibrant family that I've found - feels like it's slowly being suffocated.

I hate it.

I've tried to give it time, but we are coming to the end of month 3 and I'm still not enjoying it. The new minister doesn't seem to be making an effort to get to know what makes us as a congregation special. She seems hell bent on making us bend to her whims and ways.  What I used to look forward to all week, is something that I am beginning to dread.

And this feeling seems to slowly be weaselling its way into other facets of my life - most obviously my volunteer work with my rescue. I find myself dreading responding to emails and inquiries. Whereas before I couldn't wait to open the email accounts and jump right in, I find that I have to force myself to check emails at least once a day.

My heart is hurting. This isn't like me. As my good friend said tonight, I want the magic back. Where did it go? How do I recapture it?

January Wrap Up

Well, January is almost over. And I've blogged exactly once (well twice with this entry, but it doesn't count). Realistically, I got almost nothing done that I set out to do.

But! I started a new bible study. And I've spent more time doing things that make me happy (like writing and knitting). I've actually really enjoyed the month.

And!!!! I bought a gym membership AND I WENT TO THE GYM!

This is the first gym membership that I have ever had. And I actually enjoyed myself. I made a playlist and I just blared it. And I wasn't worried about what other people were doing/ if they were watching me. Which is huge, because I am always secretly worried about what other people think of me.

So, I guess I can't really say that January has been a write off.

So moving forward, in February I hope there is more gym, more yoga and more health. Less stress, less "being broke" and less cursing.

And of course more inspirational words!

(Yes, this is already posted, but it's my favourite.)

Words of inspiration

She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.

-Elizabeth Edwards