Home

I went home for a week at the beginning of August.

McLellan cottage. Guaranteed good times.  

Home is Prince Edward Island. It's red dirt roads and waves at the beach. It's being able to walk down the middle of the road and not worry about any traffic. It's fields full of potatoes and barley and wheat and hay. It's hearing the lobster boats before you see them bobbing on the water. It's being able to visit before calling ahead to make sure someone's home. It's coffee on the deck in the morning and sitting on the couch in the evening reading because there is no TV at the cottage. It's BBQs and family.

Oh boy, is it family.

My family, on my mom's side, is large and noisy and everything that you think it is. It's dozens of cousins and aunts and uncles and merriness and shenanigans. It's messy and fun and chaotic. And it's mine and I love them all.

Afternoon at the beach in Richard's Point
where Nan used to bring us all. 

Being home this summer was weird. It was the first summer that I'd been away since Nan passed away. There were lots of times I'd think to myself, "Well, I must run up home and see Nanny." Only to realize a second later that she wasn't there to go see. And there were dozens of times that I drove past the cemetery and I'd have the thought that I should stop in and visit her, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Mostly because I knew there'd be tears. And I hate crying in public. But also because I knew that Nan knew I was home, she knew how I did with school, she knew everything. See the thing is, even though my Nan is gone, I still talk to her. Mostly it's while I'm lying in bed almost asleep but not quite, but it's also the quiet moments I have while I'm walking the dog or sitting in a park. There have been many moments since she passed that I've had little conversations with her.

It's weird, because I'm not the type of person that has conversations with people that are gone. But Nan was a huge part of my life and it feels wrong to not include her in it still.

Red dirt roads and water. Typical PEI.

My visit home was also a time for me to reconnect with my mom. Although we talked quite often on the phone it's much easier to talk to each other while you are sitting face to face. Mom and I laughed and cried about Nan (of course), we talked about school and life, and everything in between. It was wonderful. There have been a few moments in the last year that I've wondered if mom was upset that I had moved back to Ottawa to go to school. If she thought that maybe I was abandoning her while she still was getting over Nan's death. My talks with mom reassured me that even though she missed having me around she was more than happy that I was living in a city I love, surrounded by friends I love, studying what I discovered I love.

Light lunch at Windows on the
Water in Montague.

My time at home was filled with food. And lots of good food. There were meals out with the family. And a huge chowder night with the cousins to celebrate the birthdays of my brother and myself. There were lunches and coffee dates. Home, for me at least, is a place where there is an abundance of good food and great coffee. What makes them great, is probably the company that comes with both.

Looking back, it's easy to see why I love home so much- it's the people. It's not easy to leave them behind, but I've also got amazing people that make up my Ottawa family. And let's face it, they too love food and coffee. So it's no hardship saying goodbye to one family and heading back to see my other family.

So while PEI is home, Ottawa is also home.

And I like that.

View from our table at The PEI Preserve Company in New Glasgow.