Choosing to live authentically me

So a lot has happened in the last several months - year.

The job that I adored at the cafe, came to an end, when the cafe closed very unexpectedly. But I, thankfully, landed on my feet, when one of my previous employers made a spot for me in the small business that she owns.

The cafe closing left me sad, upset and extremely angry. I felt betrayed. When I think about how things went down I still have some hurt feelings. I'm owned a couple weeks of wages still and the owner is ducking my calls and avoiding me. I'm not even sure how I'm going to get my T4 for the time I worked there.

I slid into my current role with lots of apprehension and not a small amount of anxiety. Although I had worked for The Company before, it was in a role that was quite different to the one that I am now in. For several months I worked my new role and made up hours by performing my previous role as well. Eventually, The Company decided to hire me on full time in my new role as administrative assistant/manager. It's been a bumpy ride, but one that I've thoroughly enjoyed. I have a boss that is super supportive, who listens to my ideas and suggestions and who encourages me to get hands on and learn as much as I can. I am part of a management team that is truly a team. And I have a staff that I oversee that is diverse and varied. I'm helping to grow a business that I actually care about.

In the last several months, as I've settled into work and life as I know it, I've realized a few things.

1. It doesn't take much to make me happy.
At the end of the day, I'm happy as long as I can return home at the end of the day to my dogs.

2. I've rediscovered how much I enjoy singing.
I joined a choir! And I love it!

3. Spreadsheets bring me a strange amount of joy.
I love nothing more than the beautiful spreadsheets that I create and use at work. So organized. So streamlined. So much information contained in the them. *swoon*

4. Cooking is fun again.
Hello deliciousness!

5. People have faded out of my life and I'm learning to be okay with that.
People that I thought were good friends of mine, seem to have cut me out of the friendship that I thought we shared. I was hurt at first, but now it's faded to a dull ache that appears only when I actively think of them. Their exodus has brought new and better friends into my life. And I'm oddly grateful that the end of those friendships was the beginning of new friendships.

6. A good cup of coffee is the best way to start the day.
Especially early in the morning, before the dogs are walked.

7. Sitting at home with a glass of wine, reading a book is the perfect way to end the day.
Genre of book dictates the wine that is consumed.

Where did the magic go?

I've been going to church on a regular basis. Since almost this time last year, I've been heading out west of the city with a good friend of mine to attend a small country church.

I love it. I really really like it. It's like when I was living at university and I'd go home for the weekend - that's the feeling that I get when I get in the car for the drive out.

Until recently.

At the beginning of July a new minister started working at the church. She's.... not a good fit. Everything that I love about my little church - the chaotic, messy, vibrant family that I've found - feels like it's slowly being suffocated.

I hate it.

I've tried to give it time, but we are coming to the end of month 3 and I'm still not enjoying it. The new minister doesn't seem to be making an effort to get to know what makes us as a congregation special. She seems hell bent on making us bend to her whims and ways.  What I used to look forward to all week, is something that I am beginning to dread.

And this feeling seems to slowly be weaselling its way into other facets of my life - most obviously my volunteer work with my rescue. I find myself dreading responding to emails and inquiries. Whereas before I couldn't wait to open the email accounts and jump right in, I find that I have to force myself to check emails at least once a day.

My heart is hurting. This isn't like me. As my good friend said tonight, I want the magic back. Where did it go? How do I recapture it?

When you've found your dream job!

Well. I have found my dream job!

Big words, I know. But I actually have.

I am now the manager of a place that allows me to combine my two loves: coffee and dogs.

I've been in place for almost 2 months and I can say with confidence that I adore going to work.

I'll just be over here snuggling a corgi puppy and drinking a latte.

KThanks.

Life update!

Big things are in the works for me.

Moving in May. Leaving the address I've been at for 6 years. And heading closer to the Canal for an easier walk to work/class for my sister.

I'm finally in a job that I really really really enjoy. And it doesn't feel like work AND I get to take my dogs to work with me if I wish. #WINNING

Stepping out of my comfort zone

So...

I did a thing.

I agreed to be in a musical.

As the title character.

Granted it's a small musical that is being put on in the community where I go to church and it's open to the community not just the congregation. Nevertheless, I'm out of my comfortable spot backstage and stepping into the spotlight. Pun not intended.

I've got 8 weeks to learn my songs and lines.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

5/5

5 things I rediscovered I like:

1. Volunteering with Sit With Me
2. Being back at church on the regular
3. Having a fully charged iPad
4. Bullet Journalling
5. The song "LA Song" by Christian Kane

5 things I dislike:

1. People who don't signal when turning
2. When it's super icy out
3. Having to blow dry my hair when I get out of the shower so it doesn't freeze
4. That my apartment isn't very warm during the day
5. Running out of toilet paper

1 thing I love:

1. Snuggling Nigel when he's the little spoon. <3 

Work in Progress

Words to live by.